How it began

Welcome Legacy Changer,

I wore a lot of hats. I mean tell me a woman that doesn’t (or a man, believe me, I am not hating). I got to a point at almost 40 years old, 15 years of business and many failures, disappointments, and well yes victories that I wanted to take off all the masks, hats, and whatever else I wore. I honestly never thought I would journey again into the online world after the pain I went through but felt led to share that new vulnerable me. Let's be real with each other this world is cruel and with so many hurting people there is no shortage of people that will tear you up and spit you out to make themselves feel good. It took me over a year of working on myself to truly be able to come to grips with what I felt God was calling me to.
See I realized that while there are haters there are more that need what you have. I went through my darkest times and if it wasn’t for videos, blogs, books and more of others I can’t say I would be here. O and let me give a shout out to God my Lord and Savior of course He is #1. So here I am. Here is my story and I hope you are encouraged. Raw, uncut and ME.

AUGUST 9TH, 2006
WAS LIKE ANY OTHER DAY, OR WAS IT?

Let me rewind. I remember playing Barbies when I was a little girl and I would always be married, have kids, and a business. Fast forward. I was in my twenties and still hadn’t stepped into what I knew was burning in me. Wednesday, I woke up like any other day. After the J-O-B Day, I remember coming home to my new townhouse (less than a month old), kissing my husband and before leaving for church telling him we were pregnant.

THEN IT HAPPENED...

I came home with our 4-year-old son and we went to bed. Before retiring for the night, I gave my husband a call, as he was still not home, and was interrupted by "KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK". Must be him he forgot his keys right? No, it was them, the two faces I never knew the name of but will never forget what happened next. "Ma’am, can I come in?" one officer said. It was then I thought to myself if you don’t let them in, it won’t be true. I knew something was not right. At 23 years old I became a single mother of two, my husband was gone. Just like that.

IT ALL CAME TOGETHER …OR DID IT?

I later found the love of my life, or he found me. The one I knew I would grow old with. You know sit on the porch in rocking chairs and sip ice tea as we reminisced about all we went through looking at each-other saying we made with just our eyes. He was the only one who had my attention. A man of God I could look up to. He had my back and secretly I wondered... how could he want a mistake like me? I had the Barbie dream back. Or so I thought.
I later found the love of my life, or he found me. The one I knew I would grow old with. You know sit on the porch in rocking chairs and sip ice tea as we reminisced about all we went through looking at each-other saying we made with just our eyes. He was the only one who had my attention. A man of God I could look up to. He had my back and secretly I wondered... how could he want a mistake like me? I had the Barbie dream back. Or so I thought.

Allowing myself to be enthralled by entrepreneurship I found myself working day and night. Burning dinner and the candle at both ends. My new marriage, family, and self were neglected trying to make it happen. You know SUCCESS. That thing every one of us wants and strives for. The significance we yearn for. For me, it was to prove I was worth it, that what I had within coupled with the screaming voice telling me I would teach and influence others was real. The feeling of unworthiness was the loudest noise and began when I was little with my father abandoning me. I believed I was a mistake. That would destroy me and everything I held dear. That thought alone would bring me to my knees in the darkest moments of my life.

THERE WAS NO GOING BACK

I had a sweet baby-girl within me and a little boy who depended on me to have it all together. I made my way to the shower to freshen up the next day. You know look the part, but found myself standing lifeless just going through the motions. I wrapped myself in my arms, my knees weakening as they gave out, trembling I fell into a ball in the corner of the shower. I began to rock back and forth weeping feeling hopeless. There were many moments in my life I felt like this but this time it was different.

LIFE GOES ON

The day went on and I walked in fighting the urge to have a fit of rage, trash the whole place and scream, I walked to my desk and logged into my computer. It was then, it was that moment I wanted out. I wanted to be with my child, home, anywhere but here. My Barbie dream came to a screeching halt. Or did it. I knew time was never promised and at that moment after a few days of the torture, I got up and walked out. I quit. Just like that. I started the adventure of business. A journey that almost swallowed me whole.

YEARS LATER WHO WAS I?
IT WAS THEN LIFE TOOK ITS FINAL BLOW

I took on the identity of what everyone told me. I justified all of my actions with the logic of, isn't this the cost of doing business and when it came to church it was the cost of following God? I remember relentlessly begging my husband to buy programs, coaching, and event tickets. I was convincing myself that the next one would be my breakthrough. I mean that's what THEY said. The thing was that I had so much mind chatter that I ignored with just doing more. I would gain success and then self-sabotage. Like a yo-yo or roller coaster, I went up and down. Remember, I secretly and unknowingly thought I was a mistake.
Is this you? You are confused and frustrated with all the information coming at you. You don’t know what to do and how to use what you know to make a difference and become the person of influence you know deep down you are supposed to be. Like me, you have probably lived a life that has brought devastating blows, pain, and more questions than answers but somehow by the grace of God you are still standing or crawling ha ha. You have chosen to rise and allow your pain to activate your purpose even thought life brought you to your knees. Now what?
This is when things can come together if you choose. Honestly, we think we choose our battle but sometimes the battle chooses us. We hit rock bottom and go to the darkest place we have ever been to. Where we stand face to face with God. We do that and make it out alive because as an influencer we need to know if someone swallowed the blue pill or the red pill of life. Let me encourage you that you can rise up. You can walk out your heart's call. I can’t promise you what the process you go through will look like but I can promise that you can choose to make the choice to rise.
That's where I come in. I have chosen to be open and vulnerable in order to help you cut the learning curves that I had to go through. I have had brick and mortar businesses, partnerships and online business. Through it all there are values, principles, and strategies I have learned and want to help you through as well. I said through not that you would be able to skip the process.
Here are letters to “YOU”
xo
Tanya

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